I found this meme and thought it was perfect. It’s something I need to hide away and pull out whenever I’m feeling nostalgic, lonely, or just missing the past and certain friendships. I’ve had many friendships throughout my life so far. Many of them have been great, amazing. Some of them have been less than that, much less than that. Some people I trusted too much and considered a “friend” turned out to be not worthy of that title. Some friends are now strangers. Each situation has been different. Some “friends” have caused me pain and done things which caused the demise of our friendship… other friends have gone down a different path and we’ve lost touch. Those are the friends I’ll often think about and miss the most. Not the toxic friendships, though, sometimes I do think of those friendships and remember the “good times” not all the bad times. Those are the times I want to slap myself in the face because those people are not worth a second thought! Yet here I am every now and then thinking about them and all the times we had.
I can hold grudges. If I feel like you’ve wronged me in some way, I can cut you off and out of my life. I’ve had some really bad friendships. Back in the day, I stayed friends with some people that I knew weren’t good for me because I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of having no friends. I don’t make friends easy. I never really did. I don’t “click” with a ton of people. So the ones that I do click with and enjoy being around, I cherish. Some friendships were bad because we both did things to each other. I can admit when I’m in the wrong. I can be petty, if you’ve hurt me, while it’s not right, I’ll hurt you back. Like I said, I can hold grudges, however, some part of me… after a while, starts to soften up. I’ll start thinking back to happier times, missing people who don’t deserve to be missed. It’s so screwed up. I’m always like, what if they’ve changed now?
That meme was something I liked and sometimes need to be reminded of. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits and want things to be how it used to be. I’m guilty of sometimes living in the past. I know I should only revisit it every now and then, but sometimes I’ll find myself stuck there, missing certain people, places, things. It usually only happens when I’m feeling down.
Deep down I’m a very sensitive and emotional person. I can have a tough exterior, but it’s because I’m guarded and I do it to protect myself.
Thanks for reading! 🙂